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I remember on the night of New Year's eve, I was playing a match of Crucible on my barely-leveled Warlock with my two friends, sealocalypse and Nate. I left to go celebrate the official New Year with my family, had a sip of wine, decided I hated it, then came back to my friends. This was maybe the first New Year I had ever spent with friends. My family didn't mind, and I was having fun.
But the fun didn't last very long because I was soon disappointed. This was around the time that hard mode Crota's End had gone active, and I didn't have a team to do it with. My best friend had other people who could not play with me due to timezone differences. This was about the time where I decided to say "fuck it", and I learned to solo content that typically would require more than one person. And it was this decision that led to me becoming more individualistic. I stopped being as down about myself as usual, feeling like I was just being annoying. I actually felt kind of cool. I didn't need to rely on anyone so heavily anymore because it was clear that if I set my mind to it, I would be able to do it so long as I had the perseverance.
Bear with me, I know this sounds super lame.
This was around the time my computer, once again, kicked the bucket and refused to start. I lost everything I had from last year to this year. It was a lot of stuff (which reminds me that I should backup my stuff soon). I fell into an art-slump and stopped drawing for quite some time. Occasionally, I'd get out the Destiny drawing or sketch, but I had little to no motivation to do art of any kind. I didn't care about improving, I didn't care-- period. I devoted almost all of my time into Destiny. I basically lived and breathed this game. Suddenly, becoming the best swordbearer I could be became more important to me than being the best artist or student I could be. This made me happy. School had become such a hellhole, I legitimately contemplated the unthinkable. Sometimes I still do, but this dumb game-- with all of its issues and shitty community --has brought me more joy than I think anything else in this world has thus far.
This was also the year I decided that I hate my school.
Around January, I became aware of a YouTuber with a big presence in the Destiny community. I remember thinking that he was a smart guy, and that I would like him. Didn't subscribe or anything, but I did check in occasionally. I don't remember when it began, but I started to frequent the streams and 'raid nights' that would go on surrounding this guy and his group of friends. They were kind of a big deal, having been the first to complete the Vault of Glass when it came out, and the third to complete Crota's End. I didn't do much about it. I was just a fan who found these guys fun to listen to, and I didn't even talk in the chat. They didn't have the kind of humour I'd come to know with Rooster Teeth, but their intelligence and dry humour was enjoyable.
Fast forward a few months to the release of House of Wolves, the second expansion for Destiny. This was...sad. Because I had come to have no other purpose in life other than playing the game, when HoW came out and my internet said "fuck you", I was done. For about two or three weeks, my internet refused to work correctly. No internet, no Destiny. I was lucky to have the streams still work okay-ish for me. Watching people I liked play Destiny was just about as good as playing it myself. We eventually got it fixed, and I was never happier. Sort of. I found out a lot of the end-game stuff that had been added was not my style. Trials of Osiris, a highly-competitive 3v3 elimination game mode, and Prison of Elders became the only things worth a damn. Neither were very interesting. I hated competitive scenes because I got way too stressed out about performing well, and Prison of Elders was stale and horrendously difficult at times. That, and my horrible dark period of not being able to play Destiny at all left me feeling more irritated than ever. But I guess I was just a masochist because I grew to enjoy these painful challenges. This was mostly because of the influence these Twitch people had on me. I saw them beasting through these game modes every week, three times a week. I wanted to do that.
This saw a massive, massive improvement in my performance, and performing well made me happy. I hooked up with a group of friends and we grew close. We were running regular raids and whatnot every week. I rose to the top of the list of skilled players in the clan pretty quickly, and it felt awesome. I remember that summer, during E3, I had seen the trailer for The Taken King for the first time. the-mage-of-space , Sealo, and I literally fucking screamed. Some of you may remember this piece I did:
This was for an art contest being held before the release of TTK. I wanted to make something big for it-- something that would push my limits. I am still incredibly proud, and it goes to show how much this game had affected me over the past eight or so months.
During the summer, at the start of August actually, I finally got invested enough and brave enough to post a piece of fan art I had drawn for the aforementioned YouTuber. I never expected him to actually take notice of me in particular. He even put it up in the next stream he had done and sounded so excited about it. This prompted me to draw a little more than I had been during the year though it was still not much. I was actually speaking to them now on a friendly basis. I was intimidated as hell because these guys were my idols, but we were friendly. Little while later, at the end of September, I was finally contacted by this YouTuber and asked to draw emotes for his Twitch channel. I had never done commissions for money before, but he ended up paying me way more than I had initially asked him for. These guys were still only acquaintances to me, but they were my inspiration. After a year of drawing nothing but Destiny, I was eager to finally find something new. I loved drawing them, and they loved seeing my drawings. October and November go by, and then Black Friday happens. I made the decision (after a few decisive conversations) to buy a PlayStation 4. This was to actually play with some of these guys. I was added to their chat almost immediately after I got it. I was raid-ready in no less than three days. Raided with a few guys who were staying up late, and got ready for hard mode.
I have quickly befriended a lot of the people I used to dream about getting to know, and I gotta say-- it's been a blast. Things got rough for a while, I'll admit. I was ready to give up, but I cannot describe the amount of joy I feel, knowing that I've made another twenty-odd friends like that. I love them, and they enjoy having me around. Those drawings you seen for the past few months? That's them. They've changed my life, and I would never have gotten here if it wasn't for Destiny.
Call me obsessed or whatever you want, but Destiny has turned 2015 from the worst year of my life into one of the best. I got out of bed because I knew that if I just left, I wouldn't be able to see the joy in the eyes of the people who inspired me-- more than anything else could --to become a better artist. I legitimately wanted to just disappear this year, and sometimes I still do, but I have a lot of people rooting for me now. And I have a lot of people I have to be behind now too.
Happy New Year, everyone. Out with 2015, in with 2016.